The ball gets rolling

Today I met with the general practitioner.  Basically this was a medical formality to get to the next step.  He started a chart, asked me a ton of questions about my medical history, and order blood work.  Then made the referral to the oncologist.  They sent me on my way and told me someone would be calling me in a couple of days with an appointment for the oncologist.  By the time I drove home from the doctor’s office, I had a message regarding an appointment.

I returned the call.  My referral placed me at the Saul & Joyce Brandman Breast Center at Cedars-Sinai.  They had an opening for me the following Friday.


And so the journey begins.

Hal

It's been a very emotional couple of days talking with my family.  Talking about it is the hardest part for me.  I don't like to talk about personal things like this.  I just want everything to be as normal as possible.  "I've got to look normal.  We've, all of us got to behave normally!"

To help me cope, we are calling the tumor Hal.

It is what it is

I went to the clinic to have someone official read me the results of my biopsy.

I have an invasive ductal carcinoma tumor in my left breast.  This is the most common type of breast cancer.  Invasive ductal carcinoma starts in a milk passage (duct) of the breast, breaks through the wall of the duct, and grows into the fatty tissue of the breast.  At this point, it may be able to spread to other parts of the body through the lymphatic system and bloodstream.  During surgery, the doctors will do a sentinel node biopsy to determine if the cancer has spread.

Well that just sucks.

The next step, make an appointment with a General Practitioner to get referral to see a specialist.  The first available appointment wasn’t available until May 29^th.   That is a long time to wait with no answers to what will happen next.

Yep, that sucks.

Now comes the hardest part.  Telling people that you have cancer.  You know how you feel when someone tells you bad news.  Well, having to tell someone bad news about yourself is a billion times worse.  The silence on the phone or the look in their eyes of almost immediate sadness, it creates this awful feeling in your gut.  And there is never a good time or good way to dispel the news, never.

Sucks even more.

I wanted very much not to tell people and just deal with it on my own, but all the doctors and nurses and pamphlets tell you to create a support group around you to get through everything.

I would start with telling my immediate family, this was done over the phone since they don't live in the same city as me.

Sucked.

That was about all I can handle for now.  Since I don't have any real answers to what is going to happen, I am going to keep this to myself for a bit.

You don't say

I received a call from the clinic to come in to discuss my results.  She asked if I could come on Friday.  I told her that I had to work, but I had tomorrow off.  She was going to be off, but asked me to hold while she checked the schedule to see which doctor would be available.  I told her I already had an appointment scheduled for Monday, but she was very insistent that I come in tomorrow.  I knew then that the news was not going to be good.  Basically without telling me I had cancer, she told me I had cancer.