Argh

It’s been a frustrating few days.  Every day is different.  Some days I feel good and want to be out and about.  The next day I can feel like total crap.  It’s so hard to predict what my energy level will be each day.  Much depends on how I sleep the night before.  There have been many restless nights this week. 

I am trying to wean myself off the pain medications.  Unlike most people, the pain meds do not have a euphoric effect on me instead they make me nauseous.  So nauseous that even looking at food on the TV turns my stomach.  Plus, I am not really feeling much “pain”; it is more just uncomfortable ness from all the swelling in the surgical area.  It's like having an elephant sitting on my chest.  At least that is what it feels like.  The swelling on my left chest area and side has not gotten any better since last week.  It almost feels worse.  It is a very tight, constraining feeling, like I have a baby elephant sitting on me.  It makes it difficult to breathe, especially when I am out for my walks.

My legs are very restless, so I have been fighting the pain and tightness, and still getting out for walks at least twice a day.  It's a crazy mind game.  Most of my body is wondering why we are just sitting around not doing anything.  My mind is trying to reason with my legs, they want to go, go go.  But, my lungs want to stop, stop, stop.  It's all very frustrating for me.  I'm actually getting tired of sitting around my house watching TV.