The Beginning of the End

Last round of chemo starts today.

I'm in good spirits today.  This is how I should have been feeling earlier in the week of almost "normal" instead of feeling completely Blah all the time.

Stopped by the vampire station to visit the "Pauls."  I was the only one in there so I got lots of attention.  We had a few laughs adding to my good mood.  Had a good chuckle over the giant bruise from last weeks draw.  Paul #1 said he wouldn't give me a nice tattoo like that, he's too good at this :-).  We shall see.  Had my four viles taken, then off to treatment room.

Some more laughs at reception with my buddy Carlos.  He was the one who checked me in for my very first treatment way back when.  He always greets me with a smile, asks how I'm doing.  I don't feel like a patient when he checks me in, more like a regular "customer" at my favorite watering hole.  I like that.  Everyone here at the Center has been wonderful, they remember me and make me feel good.

MyBuddies are ready, too.

A little Ativan to get me ready to go.  I'm in such a merry mood, thought for a brief second maybe not taking, but why change something at this point.  Don't want to make it unpleasant now, right?  Gotta stick with what we know works!!

After getting set up, vitals taken, routine questions asked time to get started.  The cobra does it's job, I have Southpaw in my other hand shoved up into my face (a nice squeeze of his belling and a bite in his neck).  One, two, three - Argh!!  Bite done, and we are already to go.  Yay!!

Last Cobra Bite

Ativan makes having this done so much more easier :-).  I take it while we are waiting for the lab work on my blood to come back.  This time they took longer, so the Ativan was really kicking in and I didn't feel too much pain today.  Woo hoo!  (And, yes I have a tattoo - but the pain of getting that is much different than having a needle stuck into your vain and fluid pumped it.  My vain gets stressed at impact and it as this horrible throbbing, the Ativan - known for anxiety also helps with relaxing muscles in the body, which in turn helps alleviate the spasming that I am feeling in my arm at point of impact.  Yay, Ativan!!)

Loaded up Ethel with backs of drugs and fluids to start:

Ethel with final set of pre-meds

And, away we go!!

Nothing good on the tellie this early in the day, so... let the shenanigans begin!

Nurse Shadow at it again

Nurse shadow is at it again.  Setting up Ethel to give my drugs to my surrogates this time.  Not sure Lil' Rey and Southpaw are going to be very happy with her.

What's going on here?  What is this crazy madness?

My Sister checking in on Shadow's activities

By the fourth round, Shadow thinks she is a pro at this :-)

I'm ready for a snack:

Chilling out during treatment.

Hooked up to Ethel, semi watching morning Sports Center loop while playing on the computer.

Wrapped up and ready to go...

Cobra bite wrapped up like a present

All set for tomorrow.

So Tired

Having a weakened immune system is not fun.  I am so tired.  I spent almost the entire day yesterday sleeping or lying on the couch watching television.  Not the ideal Saturday.  This is supposed to be my almost "normal" weekend to do stuff before my next round of chemo.  I miss doing normal weekend stuff.  I feel like life is passing me by, everyone is out enjoying things and I am stuck home with little to no energy.  Really tired of being sick.

Two days after the vampire had to bite me a second time, the bruise is bigger and darker.  Mind you, the bite is a tiny little needle prick, yet the bruise is a little over an inch long.  Blah.

Vampire bite no.2

My body takes so much more time to heal.  The cobra bite from my last treatment took almost two weeks to go away.  This one will probably take the same amount.

My appetite is so tiny.  I am constantly forcing myself to eat.

My plate is on the left.

Weekly Visit - blah

Paid my weekly visit to the vampire today - blah.  Apparently I am a bit dehydrated.  Vampire Paul #2 (there are two vampires in the lab named Paul :-), we joked that everyone that works there has to be a version of Paul; Paulo, Paula, Pauline...)  Anyway, he stuck me in the usual spot - inside the elbow, which is still slightly bruised from last week's visit.  And, nothing came out!  Guess they have been taking too much blood ;-).  It is very freaky to see the needle stuck in and no blood flow.  So, he had to use another vein further down my arm to take my blood.  That one hurt - blood came out though.  Now I'll have two vampire bite bruises this week.  Blah.  I'll need to make sure I drink plenty of fluids this week so my veins are ready for next week's round of chemo.

This is my second week after my latest round and still feeling blah.  It seems that it is taking longer to recover this time.  I guess by the third time you strip down your body's immune system to basically zero, the body just doesn't bounce back as easily.  The initial harsh side effects were better managed this time, but the other side effects are lasting longer.  I have very little appetite.  There is this horrible metallic taste that is constantly in my mouth.  It makes it hard to want to put anything in there.  And, when I do it tastes like metal.  The nurse did say I can have ice cream and milk shakes to help pump in some calories.  Yay!!  Two of my favorite things.  But, I cannot have too much because my liver is working over time this round so I have to limit my fat intake.  Really, there is no winning with this crap!!  And, since my liver is over worked I have very low energy.  Again, not winning.  My sleeping is all messed up, I find I have to take naps which means I wake up in the middle of the night for hours before falling back to sleep.  It's all so crazy.  My legs still feel very weak and wobbly.  The nurse is going to see if the doctor thinks that in my next round of chemo another dose of steroids might help.

Feeling so blah and the realization that it all starts again next week just sucks.

A bright spot in all this crap is getting some quality family time for our annual get together in Carlsbad. Lounging around, playing games (Soxzee and mini-dolphin golfin), laughing at stupid stuff - normal activities.  Downside is they all get to hangout in the pool and hot tub all afternoon and I have to be in the shade covered up - blah.  Still, it was good to get out of my house that I've been confined to for the past three and a half months and enjoy a change of scenery.  My family is very supportive and we have a good time together.  My dad and bro even shaved their heads, so I wasn't the only bald one at the table.

Carlsbad Robot Marble Puzzleman

One more week before my next (and final) round of chemo.  Hope to get some strength back beforehand.  Plus, I am tired of feeling BLAH!

Third time, not a charm

Slowly coming out of the chemo haze.  It doesn't get any easier no matter how many sessions you have under your belt.  It's very annoying only being able to lay around and do nothing.  I can't really even get invested in a movie or television show because my mind is in a fog and the pain in my legs is quite the distraction.  Yes, it defied my odds making and the pain went back to my legs.  This time it attacked the entire leg from pelvis to ankle.  It is an annoying ache that just won't go away.  There are moments of pain spike that are oh, so much fun, too.

I am just a giant blob either parked on the couch or in my bed.  I have to force myself to eat.  I have no appetite and my mouth feels like it is covered in chalky plaster.  My taste buds are all out of wack.  After about two bites of any food or drink, my mouth turns the plaster into goo and eating is no longer a pleasant experience it is only a necessity to keep me alive.  It is a horrible chore that I have difficulty with.  I actually despise the idea of eating right now.  My digestive system is paying the price when I don't get enough nutrients in my body.  But, surprisingly I have not lost any weight.  My body is retaining a lot of water right now, which is also uncomfortable.  Adds to the whole blob image.  Then there is the wobbly legs to also add to the image. A simple little walk around the neighborhood wipes me out.  My legs feel like jello, weak and unsteady.  They feel like they can give out at any moment.  I always felt my legs were the strongest part of my body, where I carry my most muscle mass.  It is disturbing to feel them so weak and unstable.  And, the HOT flashes!!!  In an instant my body will go from normal to insanely hot.  It is freaky.  Especially when I am trying to sleep, being waken up by the hot flash is like being dropped into a volcano.

I am so over being sick.  It sucks big time and I don't know how other people deal with it, but it is driving me crazy.  I can't wait to have my life back to normal.

Round 3 day 3

Day three of infusion.  Uncomfortable day for me.  Woke up with some nausea and no appetite.  Cobra bite was itching like crazy last night and this morning and of course I cannot scratch it since it is all wrapped up.  Again, I am in the short term room, and the recliner chair is not comfortable.  I am tired today and it is not easy to sleep in.  My lower back is getting tight, cannot get comfortable.  Slept for about an hour, then hot flash woke me up.  Not a happy day today, thus far.

The anti-nausea meds are slowly kicking in, but I still do not have an appetite.  My throat is getting soar, trying to drink a lot of fluids.  They also gave me some Claritin in hopes to help with the bone pain.  It is an experimental thing, so not sure if it will work.  But, open to trying anything to tame the pain.

Seems like the side effects are kicking in early this time.  Guess I'll be starting my side effects diet early this time. Gathering all my supplies to get through my three days of full blown side effects HELL.

Provisions for side effects.

A nice simple diet of cream of wheat, toast, apple sauce, fluids and drugs.  And, yet I haven't lost any weight during treatment, which the doctor says is good.

After two rounds we have come up with a game plan that seems to keep me as comfortable as possible for the worst of the side effects (which mainly entails making me sleep a lot).  It is very similar to round two's game plan with a few tweaks.  Still there are a couple of unknowns (like which major bone group the Nuelasta is going to work its magic this time - even money on the arms, first round went to the skull/spine, second round fibula/tibia/ankles - odds for going back to those areas, hmmm, I'd say 10-1; come Monday we shall see).

Round 3 day 2

Another day down at the Cancer Center.  They are renovating the long term infusion rooms this weekend, so I am in the short term wing.  Not as comfortable (no bed, just recliner chair), not as private, and no good cable stations on the tv. Blah.  So I decided Shadow should give my Neulasta shot to Lil Rey in protest.

Shadow playing nurse on Lil Rey

Have to do something to amuse myself for 5 hours with no cable.

Round 3

Here we go again.  After a quick stop to see the vampire (sucked out 4 viles of blood), on to the infusion room.  The cobra was all ready and waiting, tools laid out for the attack.

Cobra Tools

A little Ativan to help me relax, then BAM cobra bite.  It doesn't get any easier.  It's almost worse, because you know how it feels and you are anticipating the pain.  Survived the bite, now to lay back and let Ethel drip the fluids in.

Hopefully the Ativan will let me take a nap while I am getting infused.  Haven't slept much the last few days.  The stress of this round was compounded by other life "issues."  With only about a week of feeling almost "normal" it is a challenge to take care of everyday life things.  This time I needed to deal with the tax man,  always a stressful experience.  Then, my computer's hard drive went kaput (it's always something).  Very, very sad.  And, of course I did not backup my data recently.  So, sad.  Lesson learned, backup as often as possible!!  Hard drive replaced, now it is a process of reloading programs, music, photos, files.  Something to do while I'm in bed getting infused for the next three days.  Yay, multi-tasking while sick!!

Fell asleep today, a nice deep sleep.  I wasn't even aware that they put the second chemo bag on Ethel.  Guess I was a little tired.  It's good to sleep.

Now starting the proceedings to get discharged today.  See ya tomorrow Ethel.  Leaving the cobra bite in again to avoid any additional "sticking"pain.

Cobra Wrap

All wrapped up, now off to enjoy some food before that feeling goes away in a couple of days.